Hank Moody: How to be a natural with women


Hank Moody is a fictional character, yes we all know it. He is a writer on a hit TV show ‘Californication’.  So why would you take lessons from a fictional character? Because he is so effortlessly good with the ladies, that’s why; even if somebody wrote his life for him.

Some men struggle to get anywhere with the girls they like, or even the girls they don’t like. They just want a date, or attention, but they never strike gold and they are constantly rejected. These kinds of guys normally have role models (male) that they look up to and want to be like. This is perfectly normal. It could be anyone from a famous celebrity to the guy in your office who gets all the dates and female co-workers going wild for some reason.

This brings us back to Hank Moody – the ultimate male when it comes to ‘picking up’ and ‘hitting on’ women.  There is no denying it; he is a God when it comes to women. Maybe you’re thinking ‘why would I take dating tips from a fictional character?’ Think Charlie from Two and a Half Men, Joey from friends, Casanova from Casanova- but better. Now you’re interested.

If you haven’t seen the show, don’t worry. All will be revealed. He drinks, he takes drugs, but most importantly he gets the girls. Maybe he isn’t someone you should idolize, drugs and boozing is not something to advocate for. But we’re not focusing on those parts.

 If you don’t feel like all is revealed however or maybe you’re just intrigued you should definitely watch the show. All of the seasons (seven in total) are available to watch on Netflix. They will give you more insight into the character Hank Moody, and why he is such a hit with the ladies.

He is written as the classic troubled protagonist. He has issues (who doesn’t), he is troubled and plagued and dark. For some reason, women find that attractive and alluring. They want to nurture him, to look after him, to make it better. Whatever ‘it’ is. He is funny, disinterested just enough to make you want him more and charming.


Take this scene for example; it perfectly encompasses everything Hank Moody is and does in one sequence. Watch it, and then read on.

What more needs to be said? This is a clear cut example with no room to argue of how Hank breezes about naturally attracting anything in his path like a giant magnet in the middle of a piercing shop. What is it specifically that makes him great?

He ignores the girl

You know that famous saying treat them mean keep them keen, a bit of an outdated saying – fair enough. Yet, it works for Hank. There’s a certain charm to it, being noticed but playing it off as nonchalant. Noticing someone but purposefully not noticing them is an enticing move, it sparks interest and sets the brain thinking.

She wants to know him because he has presented himself as worthy of knowing. He hasn’t swept in with compliments and putting her as above him in terms of charm and attractiveness. Hank keeps things on even footing, maybe even keeping himself as having the upper hand over her. That control is a key point, and it will keep interest going.

Another way he does this is to feign no interest whatsoever in anything about her, no matter how important or interesting she is. He makes his ladies work for his attention and approval and doesn’t put them on a pedestal instantly boosting their ego and making them think that they are better than him.

He’s charming and playful

Hank keeps things light to keep the conversation flowing and the girl giggling and engaged. He dances around things and again provokes thought and interested. Being playful is a big part of securing a prospective date. If things are too serious, interest will fade rapidly.

Yet if things are kept light, there is potential to see where things may lead. Save the serious stuff for later on.

Another great example of Hank being charming and playful is this scene:

He wastes absolutely no time in this scene getting the conversation around to the girl picturing him naked – quite a bold move don’t you think? It’s a large part of how he seduces his women, and it works!

His body language says it all

Nonchalant, cool, and always in control; those are the words to describe Hank Moody. He sounds like a cliché wrapped up in an enigma, doesn’t he? Well, he is.

Your body language does say a lot about you. How you present yourself, how you hold your arms your facial expressions your shoulders, these can all dictate how a person perceives you. Do you lack confidence? That shows by the way you fidget. Are you perfectly at ease? We can tell by the way your shoulders are back and your chest is relaxed.

His voice is commanding

It’s all about tone and how you compose yourself. Does your voice shake when you talk to women? That may be an issue for you and consequently them as well! Practice makes perfect, try talking to your reflection in a mirror, yes it really does work!

He has great intonation and tone, knowing exactly which cadences to hit and melodies to compose as he speaks to his potential lady friends. Hank has no issues here; his voice is always in control which brings us to the next point.

He is a master conversationalist.

Thanks to his commanding voice and knowing exactly how to use it, Hank is naturally and completely in control of how the conversation ebbs and weaves. It is up to him, there’s no denying that Hank is in the driver’s seat and the girl is just along for the ride in this case; wherever he is going to take her. Yet, she knows that and she doesn’t even mind.

He knows how to keep things going smoothly, whether that’s being nonchalant and not taking an interest to keep the other person talking more, or being playful and witty and therefore keeping things a bit flirty and light. This is not to suggest that ignoring someone in any other context will ever give the desired results.

It has to be relevant and in the moment, or a prolonged strategy for dating thought out and thought over. Don’t just go around ignoring people, because without Hank’s charm and charisma, you probably won’t ever pull it off. No offence meant, of course.

Hank can own a room and make people want to follow him out of it, just by using his words. The way he talks to women makes him immediately more attractive to them because he is completely in control of what is happening and how it happens.

He exudes self confidence

This is kind of make or break. Some people may find dorky nervousness super attractive, but most women want a man who can hold a room, and them, for longer than three seconds without running away from it.

Hank always meets rejection eye to eye, he seemingly doesn’t feel shame, and he always plays off his downfalls as things he does with purpose. He openly expresses his desires in front of whoever he pleases with no thought that it may make them uncomfortable, because he believes what he is saying and he believes in himself.

A great example of this from the show is this scene:

in which he hits on a woman in front of a room full of people openly and as explicitly as he chooses. It’s not creepy though, it works for him and she responds really well to his advances!

Some people can really pull off cocky confidence, other people just make you want to walk away from them shaking your head and feeling embarrassed on their behalf. Hank is more the former rather than the latter. He makes people remember him, whether it is for a good reason or because they didn’t understand him it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that he is in their heads, and that’s where he is staying.

So yes, let us all fully acknowledge and accept that Hank Moody is completely fictional and written by a script writer for a TV program. That is an undeniable fact from which we cannot escape.

Were it that Hank Moody were a real man walking around, there would be no women for the rest of us anyway, so it’s probably worked out for the best. Though on the other hand, it would be so much fun to have a night out around the bars with him.

Because despite his lack of existence in the real world, that doesn’t change the fact that Hank Moody gets results. He is exceptionally good at getting what he wants and desires out women. This is also seemingly effortless.

Some may say he is a master manipulator, and partly this may be true. But isn’t all dating a little bit manipulation to start with? Otherwise would we ever actually get anywhere without bending things in our favor as much as we can?

There are still behaviors that can be observed and studied in order to get tips and advice for your own dating life. There’s nothing wrong with taking inspiration from favorite characters from fiction. That is the whole reason why somebody wrote them in the first place; to make them memorable and inspirational.

That has certainly been achieved with Californication’s Hank Moody. He is charming, not really that sensitive, playful and cold. He is also a master of conversation, witty and absolutely gives off sexual vibes. He does what all men wish they could do, and don’t even deny it!

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