In the movie Crazy, Stupid Love Ryan Gosling is a God of seduction.
His character Jacob is a suave, smooth-talking and incredibly successful master of attracting women. Although Crazy, Stupid Love may seem like a basic romantic comedy on the surface it can actually be really useful for guys who are looking to pick up their seduction game.
We’ve watched Crazy, Stupid Love and deconstructed the most important elements of Jacob’s seduction game that can help you out. With these tips, you’ll be just as irresistible to women as the main man himself.
Select a Target
In our first introduction to Gosling’s character in Crazy, Stupid Love we get to see what he does best. In a swanky bar and dressed to the nines, Jacob scopes the crowd for a target before selecting and approaching Hannah.
Do it like Gosling and approach immediately. One you see a girl you like, you need to confidently approach her as soon as possible. According to Mystery, you have 3 seconds to approach her before your nerves kick in and stop your game in its tracks.
Once he’s picked his target, Jacob enters the scene in the most natural way possible – he joins in the girl’s conversation.
After giggling over Conon O’Brien, Jacob approaches the girls and introduces himself to the conversation by asking “who looks like a carrot? Hi, who looks like a carrot?”
Although most guys like to break the ice with a cheesy pickup line, this technique is more likely to turn off your target rather than turn her on. Because pickup lines are one of the oldest tricks in the seduction book, girls are now naturally socially alert to anything that sounds remotely like a pickup line and are likely to reject your advances before you’ve even begun.
When you’re hunting, keep an ear out for the perfect opportunity to inject and get involved with their chat. Approaching the girl you like with a comment or question about what she’s talking about is an awesomely effective way to get involved with her. This approach is non-threatening and under the radar.
Because you’re adding to the conversation she’s already having, your girl is more likely to keep talking to you.
In Crazy, Stupid Love we see how effective this approach can be when Hannah’s friend, who is clearly attracted to Jacob stammers in response: “Conan O’Brien, my friend, um, my friend Hannah here thinks he’s sexy.”
Not only is Jacob now involved in the group’s conversation now, but he also has a perfect opportunity to get closer to his target.
Make Your Intentions Clear
Ever the seducer, Jacob reply to this comment by saying: “That’s weird because I think your friend Hannah’s really sexy.”
He immediately makes his intentions for approaching the girls clear, instead of trying to be too subtle and mysterious. Sometimes being upfront about your intentions when picking up girls is better than trying to be subtle as it avoids an awkward suspicion or mistrust.
You need to remember that girls are alert to the ticks of men, for the most part, so you have to give her the impression that you know what you’re doing and that you’re good at it too.
Jacob also comes across as cocky yet funny in this scene, which is such an awesome way of keeping even the prickliest of girls interested and engaged in your interaction. David De Angelo teaches the art of cocky funny approach in Double Your Dating, which you should check out if you’re looking to improve your pickup game.
If you’re approaching a group of girls you need to make sure your intentions are made clear as soon as possible, but cleverly to keep them interested and susceptible to your flirting. You want to avoid any confusion regarding your intentions and make it obvious who your target is. Without doing this the girls make think that you’re just out for anyone, or even worse they may think your gay and are simply looking for a buddy.
Although Jacob fails to pick up Hannah in this particular scene, it is clear that he’s had some effect on her and eventually results in success later on in the plot. For more detail, here’s what he did well here:
Changing the frame
Jacob always diverts the question or topic back onto his target when talking to the girls. When Hannah asks him how old he is, Jacob quick-as-a-flash diverts the attention back onto her by joking “what are you, a lawyer?”
His questioning gets him more information about his target as well as opening up more opportunities to flirt with her.
Changing the frame is a great way to keep the conversation alive and always bring the attention back onto the girl.
Being blunt and honest
Even though it is typically a guy thing to hide how we feel, being open and honest is actually a turn on when chatting up women.
Trying to hide how you feel and remain aloof for too long will make your female target lose interest in you, as she feels as though you are not interested in her. In our fast-paced climate where everyone has so many different options, it is vital to keep your conversations flowing or else your girl will get bored and will be ready to move on to the next guy.
Jacob knows how important this which is why he chooses to be honest about his intentions and his feelings towards Hannah. This, although it seems shocking initially, is one of the most seductive things he could do.
Forget everything you’ve been taught about men and their emotions – you should never be afraid to show a woman how you truly feel when you’re trying to attract her. When talking to a woman, honesty and vulnerability are actually seen as a strength.
Involve her friends
Girls are all about connection, which is why they choose to go out hunting for men in large groups of friends. In this movie, Jacob successfully and smoothly wins over his target’s friend by saying: “there’s lots of beautiful women in this bar, your friend included”.
By winning over her friend, your target is even more likely to pay attention to your advances as she will have her friends’ support and encouragement.
Challenging her adventurous spirit
Challenging a girl’s natural adventure is a great way to get her involved in your flirtations, as she tries to prove how exciting she really is.
Chances are if she is trying to make herself seem exciting and better it means that she is interested in you – she wants you to be impressed with her. Jacob may not be successful immediately when he does this to Hannah in the opening scene of Crazy, Stupid Love but he clearly makes an effect and eventually gets what he wants.
If you offer a girl some adventure and desire, chances are she’ll still think about you at the end of the night and may want to seek you out when she’s bored of the other guys’ basic tactics.
The Seduction Blocker
Cal is a vital character in Crazy, Stupid Love who repels every woman he comes into contact with due to his constant whining and bad attitude.
Throughout the course of the movie, Jacob helps Cal to become an A-grade seducer and helps any of us guys watching with his advice too. Before the makeover, Cal is such a failure with women because:
- He constantly whines about his wife cheating on him, which is not only depressing but makes him seem undesirable
- He sits alone at the bar and will rant to anyone who is near
- He sips his vodka mixer effeminately through a straw
It’s not long before Jacob pulls Cal aside and highlights everything that is wrong about his dating game.
It’s true that nobody likes a moaner. Of course, we should all have someone that we can rely on in dark times but there are some places where these kinds of attitudes do not belong. Pickup is one of this such areas.
If you have a negative vibe around you then women will not want to approach you or be approached by you. Nobody wants to feel bad when they’re on a night out, so make sure that you are positive, upbeat and someone people actually want to be around.
No matter when or where we see Jacob throughout Crazy, Stupid Love he is always sharply dressed, suave and clean-cut. Especially when compared to unfortunate Cal in his baggy jeans and outdated sneakers.
Appearance is really important in the dating game and if you’re looking to impress a woman then you should always be sharp and clean-cut. Make sure to wear clothes that actually fit you and highlight your psyche.
Girls want hot, healthy and well-built guys. How are they ever going to see that you’re one of them if you’re always wearing ill-fitting, unfashionable threads?
Taking Her Home
Once the attraction is too much to deny, you want to be like Jacob and take control over where things are going to go. Cal watches Jacob take a girl after girl home by using one simple line: “let’s get out of here.”
Telling the girl what you want to do rather than asking her is a really seductive way to get the thing you want. All girls love a man who is in charge because control is a typically masculine trait. By avoiding giving her an opportunity to reject you and instead of telling her what to do, you can move things along the way you both want quickly and effectively.
When you’re trying to seduce a woman as effectively as Ryan Gosling, remember:
- Buy the girl a drink
- Be honest and play up to your unique strengths
- Always direct the attention to her
- Take control and tell her what you want
If you follow this advice, we know for certain that you’ll be unstoppable and irresitable out there!