Having a healthy relationship is a difficult task. Very often it is much easier to have a bad relationship filled with red flags compared to having a healthy relationship. The era of romanticizing toxic relationships has come to pass. A large group of people now just want to settle down with someone who makes them happy, have good communication and has a wonderful experience. This is not impossible to achieve.
Healthy relationships take work. They need both parties (or more) to completely work together in achieving. If both half-heartedly tried to put in the work half-hearted results will come out of it. There is a quote that says; “relationships are not 50/50 relationships about both people giving a 100.”
Building a healthy relationship
Every relationship needs a good foundation. Is bringing two different people together can never be easy. People have different opinions, perspectives, thought processes, futures, values etc. Creating something healthy with all of the things somewhat against your relationship already won’t be easy. Here are a few ways to build and have a healthy relationship:
Communication can either kill a lot or fix a lot. it kills a relationship by not saying enough and it certainly was a relationship by communicating the need and want. Communicating can help avoid a lot of unnecessary resentment in relationships. When your partner isn’t doing enough you communicate with them. People often keep that anger and hurt themselves as though the other person should read your mind or “just know” what to do because you know what to do. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
Make time to talk about them calmly and as detailed as possible. Communicate how you don’t like that she leaves all her makeup on the bed every day and you communicate how he always leaves the toilet seat up. Oddly enough you have quite a number of married people having fights like this a lot. At some point it’s not really about the makeup of the toilet seat but mostly that resentment that it can build up from not addressing things in the beginning.
The majority of the time we try to become a major part of our partners’ lives, or they make their partner a major part of their lives. At the end of the day, you’re still your own person and you cannot rely on another person’s presence to dictate who you are and what you like to do. Of course, there are considerations of you being in a relationship such as being loyal to your partner and also making time to talk to them. but it is important to have your own life, your own group of friends, outside of your relationship. Not be too dependent on your relationship with your partner as your only source of entertainment or life.
Make time for sleepovers, make time for date nights, make time for days where you just want to be in each other’s company. Making time is one of the greatest forms of affection. It shows that even if I have all these things going on I still want to make time for you because you are of importance to me. This shows value in the relationship and will likely be suffocated if communicated well. Part of making time boils down to communication. Communicating your day-to-day life and your priorities on both ends will be room for you guys to walk around the time you make for your relationship. Whether it’s a long-distance relationship, simply an online relationship or one of the relationships where you guys get to see each other every day, you need to invest time.
Learn love languages
The earlier generations made love languages a huge thing for relationships. There are five types of love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, giving/receiving gifts and acts of service. Every person is different, some only need one of the love languages and some need them as a package. If your partner’s way of knowing that they are loved is by receiving gifts but the only way you know how the love is by acts of service there will be a miscommunication. You will go out of your way to do your acts of service but they still don’t feel loved because there’s a lack of receiving gifts and vice versa. you won’t understand the depth of the gifts that your partner gives you.
It is important to love your partner the best way they understand. If you can still do your acts of service and eventually they will learn that this is your way of expressing love and yet you are still accommodating to their own way. This helps with a lot of issues in a relationship and where you see that they are things that do matter.
Talk long term
Talking about long-term goals will save you both from heartache. Long term talk will always be hard work. People do have different long-term goals that may cause them to separate in the future. Talking about them and realising that anything can happen anytime leaves room for you to decide whether you want to take the relationship seriously or if it’s just a short-term thing. This also creates a sense of security for the both of you, you can sort of have a chance to know what will happen in the next few years or months and decide what to do then.
Healthy relationships take a lot of trial and error before perfecting. Of course, your relationship will not be perfect but you will be happy about not being consumed in red flags. A healthy relationship will change a lot of things. It could help you in your success, it could change your type, it could even help with just your overall health. When you are surrounded by good people, it is easier to live a better life.