Many dating advice coaches highly support being friends first before being in a relationship. This could mean a platonic relationship before a romantic relationship or simply plainly getting to know each other as best as possible. As beneficial as being friends may be to your relationship, it does not have to happen exactly before. This applies to those who have not taken the time to be friends before your relationship. There are a few benefits to being friends before lovers, keep reading.
How to be friends before?
Being friends with someone you may like can often be very awkward. The best way to tone down this awkwardness is by continuously, actively, being friends. Yes, there will be a point where you two cannot only be friends as feelings have grown to be so intense between you two; this should not be your cue just yet. Here is how to be friends before lovers:
Being Friends
Keeping things cool and light
This is something that ruins relationships before they even start. There is a lack of calmness within the relationship. Before anything serious has risen in your relationship, you both have intense energy and high levels of expectations which tend to kill the fun. Allowing each other to be friends with no expectations will only help you two understand each other on a much deeper level that isn’t a facade.
Doing new things together
This is something you can always do even when you have been in a relationship for months or years. Doing things together helps you see different sides of each other, whether you love or hate that side is for you to decide. Any level of excitement or dopamine shared between two people only brings them closer. It helps with falling in love as well. Doing things together can be anything, a quick museum trip, trying out a new restaurant, etc.
No expectations
Although we mentioned this before, this is on a much larger scale. There shall be no expectations. And this applies to everything, morning texts, them seeing other people, automatically thinking you will spend time together. If nothing had been said and set in stone then there should be no expectation of it.
No relationship benefits
This applies to everything, the aim of this phase is to friends in the best way possible. Often times when you two cannot helo but skip to the sexualities of your relationship, it might be lust or infatuation. When you are certain that it is inevitable that you two will be together, how long it takes would not and shouldn’t be an issue.
Being Friends: If things happen too quick?
In some cases, not all, where the friendship phase does not last and that is okay. It’s important that you are certain of your own intentions and voice them Of course you cannot make someone else’s intentions pure for you but the honesty and transparency of your own will in some way show theirs. Remember relationships are not a size fits all, whatever works best for you two is what the focus should be.
How to be lovers after?
The best way to be lovers is by letting loose. Building a relationship after being friends is much easier. Yes, the first kiss can be a bit awkward and other physical or relationship talks but because this is your friend the flow is a bit better. All you have to do at this point is living in the moment. Hopefully, you two know each other much better because of your friends before lovers. The only tasks that would need to be done are the uncomfortable/awkward questions such as:
- When is the right time to have sex
- The seriousness of the relationship
- Future plans
- Expectations (if needed)
Of course, there are a lot more conversations that are needed but these are the common ones that relationship partners. After that, it’s simply dependent on the two of you and how best you see your relationship moving forward.
