First dates can be very awkward and hard to read. A lot of the time you are overthinking about how you look, how they perceive you and trying to keep your anxiety down at the same time. All of this with not knowing what to say as well. The key to being confident during a date is to pretty much just keep the conversation going the more you talk the more at ease you feel.
The best way to help with this is to know what you’re going to talk about or what you want to know. What also helps with conversations on the first date is knowing who you’re talking to. Whether you heard a bit about their personality from friends or even had a few mini chats before. This way you know what to expect with the conversations. If not, these questions will still help.
First Date Conversations
A few ways to help break the ice or even help you get to know your date better are these first date conversations. Here are some topics:
- Current focus goal for the next few months
- Favourite place in the world
- How do you want to raise your kids?
- What would you do or be if society wasn’t as it is now?
- Describe your dream self
- Describe your ideal partner
- What are your intentions in a relationship?
- What do you hope to gain from your next relationship?
- Are you looking to settle down?
- What’s your dream career?
- Are you happy with your job?
- Do you want kids in the future?
- What are your set expectations in a relationship?
- What was the relationship your parents had?
- Do you have any red flags or traumas one should look out for?
- How self-aware are you?
These questions are heavily loaded. Some Have some fun with them and some of the questions are serious and aimed at seeing longevity. Of course, having fun on the first date is very important but if you are looking for a bit more of a serious relationship you would want to get to know the person you’re talking to. The aim is to keep the conversation as light as possible and not make it so heavy on the other person. If you sense some uncomfortability it is okay to take a step back for not everyone’s the same. Chances are if you’re both looking for a serious relationship and I’m very intentional in that you will want to talk about these questions.
These questions can be structured or filtered in a way that serves your intentions. If you are not looking for anything too serious your conversations certainly do not have to be based around any longevity questions. You can keep it light and fun based on fun activities, body counts, situationships and so much more.
How to prepare for the first date?
Prepping for First dates can often be daunting. You want to make sure you’re confident and comfortable but you also want to look good for the person you’re seeing which is very hard when you don’t know what they’re into. This though is not necessary because the focus should be on you. as you get ready to get ready for you and if it’s a confident manner regarding speech then pretend to be talking to your date in the mirror. This only gives you more confidence when the time comes to talk to your date.
One of the things that can help with getting ready is to also breathe. As simple as it is, breathing does help you calm down a bit more and give you a sense of release. All the built-up anxiety and lack of confidence leave your body.
First Dates will always be nerve-racking but you must know your intention going into it. Having confidence in just one aspect of yourself may fall through to other parts creating a snowball effect. When you know what you hope to get out of the date it sort of makes it easier to navigate the date and how you might feel about it. Your focus should be on you and don’t think about impressing the person instead make the person want to impress you and not in a narcissistic way.